Help

You see this child here? Seriously, she needs help.

You see, the TV (and therefore the Wii as well) were both banned last week. I won't tell you what she did to get into trouble, but I will say with a clear conscience that the no-TV-for-a-week punishment was her idea!

Anyway, for a week all Brian and I heard was (with a loud sigh), "What can I do?" and "[sigh] There's nothing to do around here." Apparently, the child is paralyzed in her imagination. She honestly believes there is NOTHING to do around our house if the TV is not on. So, seriously, she needs some help.

Of course, this boy needs help too.

You see, he's suffering from an overactive imagination! Just so you know, he thinks he's "Jedediah" from his favorite movie, "Night at the Museum," which he religiously watches four times a day. Of course, the sad thing is that the "gun" in his "holster" actually looks a lot more like the sword "Octavius" wears. But, who am I to argue?

And lastly, I can't leave out the fact that our house needs help too.

Yes, that would be three squirrels "fighting" on our back deck. (We won't talk about what they were REALLY doing.) They provided hours (or more like half an hour) of entertainment for a little boy and girl who thought this might be better than television for a few minutes and a dog who seriously wanted to go play with them. Who needs a zoo when you have this for entertainment in your own back yard?

Favortism

I have to 'fess up. It's time to finally unburden my soul. I've been trying to hide it for years, but it's finally time to just let it out. So here it is.... I play favorites. I favor one child over another. Aahhh..I feel so much better letting that one out.

While I was pregnant with Will, I remember reading an article in some parenting magazine my OB's office always gives us. I distinctly remembering reading this article (I can even see in my mind the picture at the top of the article of this mom and her two kids!) because I remember sitting there thinking, "No way. There's no way. Absolutely no way would I favor one child over the other. I'll love and care for my children equally. I would never play favorites." Three years later, I need to confess and I finally have to admit it. I really do favor one child over the other.

You see, in this article, this mom of two talked about how she favored one child over another. Now, don't get me wrong. She didn't LOVE one child over the other. She loved them equally. She wanted to protect them and care for them and love on them equally. But she still played favorites. In the moments where one child was hurt, sick or struggling with something difficult, that child quickly became the favorite. They needed her. They needed her time and attention more than the other child. So this mom would find herself pouring everything into that one particular child. And then one day, one child would become more rebellious and difficult to work with. So, of course, that child naturally was no longer the favorite and suddenly the mom would gravitate to the other child.

I can see that in me. When Ann Catherine comes home with a hurting heart over something that happened at school, she quickly becomes my "favorite." She becomes the child where I throw my time and attention. When she has her "girl" moments where she's emotional and confused and just needing someone to love on her, I love to step up to that role. I love to cuddle her and love on her and try to mend her broken heart. And while I still love my son, he's really just not my favorite at that moment. I even feel closer to her when we go shopping. We've started heading to the local stores during Will's nap time on Sunday afternoons and when we walk hand in hand and try on clothes together and just enjoy that girl-bonding time, she quickly becomes my favorite at that moment.

But during those moments where Will will climb up into my lap and throw his little arms around me and sigh, "I love you Mommy"...well, I'm guessing you can figure out who my favorite is at that moment. And when he wants to show me his bedroom and show me his animals and begs me to read his favorite book, at that moment, he is my favorite. Ann Catherine is there and I love her, but my heart and my attention just isn't turned towards her at that moment.

And when one child is angry and stomping around the house and slamming doors, or throwing screaming temper tantrums in the middle of the grocery store...well, I'm guessing you can figure out who my favorite is NOT at that moment.

So suddenly I get it. And suddenly I can let go of a little guilt I feel sometimes. Because honestly, BOTH of my children are my favorites. It just depends on the moment. It depends on the circumstances. It depends on who needs me the most or who is loving on me the most.

And for my mother, whom I accused of playing favorites for many years, I want to tell you that I think I finally get it. I never noticed when I was your favorite. I only noticed when my presence didn't seem to matter at that moment because your heart and attention and love was being poured into another child. And suddenly I feel a little selfish because now I get it. That other child NEEDED to be the favorite of the moment. And my mother didn't love me any less. She just knew I didn't really need her at the moment.

So from here on out, I proudly declare that I play favorites with my children. Fortunately, in my heart, they occupy a very equal portion.

Ride 'Em Cowboy

Not much to saw, just the cutest picture.

Are We There Yet?

Well, Willy Wonka managed to not only fall asleep without asking for his paci, but he also slept through the night (which is unusual for him) and didn't ask for it this morning. So now Brian and I are wondering if he can officially be declared "broken" from the paci. If so, I'm thrilled to no longer have to worry about carrying that stupid thing around (not to mention having to remember to hide it from his pediatrician, who would kill us if she knew that we hadn't broken him at age 2 like she told us to!). But if he really is done with it for good, there's just a small piece of me that's a little heartbroken. I guess it was the one last little thing I could hold on to before officially declaring that I have no more babies. It didn't matter that the kid was potty-trained. It didn't matter that he's not really using sippy cups anymore (other than in the car). It didn't matter that he could walk and run and jump like a normal "grown" child. It didn't matter that he's moving up to the preschool hallway at church this Sunday. It was just one little small piece of him that still claimed he was a baby to me. And I'm a little sad to wave that goodbye. No more babies in my house means we're leaving behind one phase and entering another. It doesn't matter that we basically were already in the door and had two arms and a leg already in the big kid door. It's just a little sad to close that door.

Fortunately for my slightly wounded heart, I know that door isn't permanently closed. Someday we might just visit cracking that door open once again. So stay tuned (just not anytime soon - so Mom don't start dancing for joy just yet).

Hopeful

Well, we survived another night. This time we had a harder time getting him to fall asleep. He was determined to get his paci and begged for it for at least an hour. He tried getting out of bed, he tried begging and he tried pleading, and finally, after much cuddling up to him and just laying quietly next to him, he finally drifted off to sleep. Mercifully, he slept through the night. Unfortunately, he woke up again asking for it and even tried to ask me to go get it once we got to daycare. He wanted me to go find it in the baby room. Somehow I managed to get him to change the subject and I escaped.

So now we wait and see what tonight will hold. My guess is that he'll still ask. My hope is that he'll sleep through the night again. And my ultimate dream is that, tomorrow, he'll have lost that desire and will give up on asking.

Still Praying!

Well, we survived our first night without the paci. It wasn't pretty but it also wasn't as bad as our first attempt to break Will of the paci. Our previous attempt was to get him to "throw away" his paci. That night was bad...really bad. Last night was only slightly better but at least Brian and I seemed more committed to not giving in to the cries and screams and attempts to walk to daycare at 2 in the morning!

Believe it or not, Will didn't even ask for his paci when he laid down to go to sleep. He just grabbed his blankey and tossed and turned. It wasn't until he started getting really sleepy that he started asking for it. When Brian reminded him that he had given it to the babies at daycare, Will started insisting that we go get it. He begged, he pleaded, he announced he wasn't a big boy after all. So I laid down with him and rubbed his back and his forehead (something we did when he was an infant to get him to become sleepy enough to fall asleep) until he finally settled down to sleep.

He managed to stay asleep until about midnight. Luckily, I heard him starting to quietly whimper and moan as he searched for his paci and I went in there and managed to sooth him back to sleep. He managed to only toss and turn and get occasional moments of sleep until 2:42. And then all you know what broke loose. I remember the time distinctly because I kept thinking that I might just have to announce to the world that I gave in to him at 2:42. He started screaming, he started crying and then he started trying to get out of bed. He first asked me where his paci was. When I reminded him that he gave it to the babies at daycare, he started screaming and insisting that I go get it. When I told him I couldn't go get it, he climbed out of bed. Apparently the kid thought he was going to walk to daycare to get it himself. And I'm guessing he would have tried if we had let him. I laid him on the bed and then had to hold him down because he kept getting up. Finally, he started calling out for his daddy who came in there to hug him. We ended up putting him in our bed between the two of us where he managed to finally calm down and fall back asleep until this morning. The funny thing was that he woke up whimpering and crying because he couldn't find his shoes. My guess is that he knew something was missing but he was too tired to figure out what.

So the good news is that we've survived the first night without giving in. I have a feeling we'll survive the next few as well. Our pediatrician once told us that her daughter mourned the loss of her paci for three nights until she finally stopped asking for it. The heartbreaking thing for both Momma and Daddy is that Will truly did mourn for that paci. His face showed pure grief and that was a heartbreaking thing for Mommy and Daddy to watch. It was like his best friend had left him.

Cross Your Fingers...And Your Toes

Ok - we're all praying, hoping and crossing our fingers and toes. And you need to do the same. Will may have just given up the paci --- finally!!! However, I underscore the word "may" and I'm totally not getting my hopes up.

Friday night, Will announced to his father that he didn't need his paci anymore. He said only babies need them. And he apparently wanted to donate his paci to the babies at daycare. Saturday at naptime, he never once asked for his paci and fell asleep without it, although he did have a bad coughing fit during his nap (leftover cold) and started begging for it sleepily so he could go back to sleep. Last night, he again announced that he wanted to donate his paci to the babies at daycare. So we tried to go to sleep without it last night but he told his daddy he "needed it." Hopefully only for one last time!

Normally, when we go to daycare, the paci is not allowed in the building. It stays in my car and then I hide it until bedtime. And he's been OK with that. But this morning, I asked if he was going to give it to the babies. He happily said "yes" and marched into the building. You should have seen that little monster. He marched straight into the baby room, threw open the door (which smacked the wall and surprised the baby teacher), announced he wanted to give his paci to the babies and proceeded to hand it to a little boy in there. Luckily, he chose a little boy who didn't use pacis and looked at it like he had no idea what to do with it. He then marched out of that room and headed into his own room. I happily marched with him, got him settled in his room and quietly slipped back into the baby room to get that paci back just in case. (The baby teacher thought this was all hilarious, by the way.)

So now we're crossing our fingers and toes and pleading with God that this will finally work! I've always suspected it would be a matter of willpower for him and no amount of tricks and tips for breaking the paci habit would work for us. We've tried a few but that boy would literally just lay in his bed and scream, cry, beg and plead for hours until you finally gave in. I normally don't like giving in but at midnight when you're trying to keep your daughter asleep and your own eyes will no longer stay open, it's hard to have willpower of your own! But tonight's the night. The night we really test him (or he'll really test us). We already know that when he asks for it, we'll remind him he gave it to a little baby and we'll stick to our guns as long as possible. And then we'll just wait and see who's up at midnight tonight!!