We've had lots of changes in the past couple weeks and I want so badly to share them with you. I have pictures on my camera ready for posting to share with you how proud we are of our big girl becoming a Junior Girl Scout. And then yesterday, she officially became a fourth-grader! And Will - what a man he has become with his latest wardrobe acquisitions. I want so badly to grab the camera to update you with some photos of him as well.
Unfortunately, it has to wait until the swimming in my head has stopped, the room has stopped tilting and the constant movement of my eyes has finally ceased. I'd love to share the whole story but I can't see straight enough to do it just now. So instead, I'm simply going to share with you that I've been dealing with vertigo since Tuesday. To people who have never dealt with this, it may not sound like anything more than some simple dizziness (or a famous movie). I wish it was just that. I'd love to think that was all I was dealing with right now.
Instead, I'm dealing with the constant sensation of the room spinning. It tilts and spins with each movement I make. Tuesday, it was bad enough that I was throwing up every time I had to climb out of the bed. I hold onto walls to keep myself upright. And, right now, I have very little hearing in my left ear beyond a constant low, roaring sound. And none of the drugs seem to help. The dr. said that it would probably go away after a day or two. It hasn't. I'm now on day five. And I really need it to stop. The constant spinning is giving me headaches and making me just constantly tired and generally confused. I worked all day Wednesday-Friday, but left early on Friday because I couldn't sit at my desk anymore. I hear people talking to me but I'm just generally so tired and slightly disoriented, which is making it very hard to concentrate on any general task or conversation.
It's now taken me half an hour just to write this little bit. I'm constantly typing, deleting, re-reading, and retyping. I apologize for the typos.
Honestly, I wouldn't even have done this except I'm at a point where I'm begging for prayer right now. I really need to know people are praying that this vertigo will go away soon. I just want my life back. I can't sit and play with my kids in the evening or even cook dinner. I'm trying to work but driving is a little scary sometimes right now and even Grandmas are passing me in the hallways at work. Not good when you have a mile-long walk between your car and your office. And it's not easy to work when your eyes can't focus or stay straight long enough to really work on your computer.
I just want my body back. I want my routine back. I want to keep enjoying my job. I want to know that when we go on our small mini-vacation next weekend that I'll be able to get on the amusement park rides and enjoy the water park with my kids.
The dr. said it could take a week. I've talked to a co-worker who dealt with it for five months. Not very hopeful or promising news. I've called the dr's office again and again but they just keep telling me to wait it out but to come back if it's not gone in a week. So I'm waiting on Tuesday to get here. And then I'll go back and beg to see an ENT. But in the meantime, everything I'm reading online isn't helping. It sounds like no one really knows what causes this or how to do anything to make it go away. They can treat the symptoms, but not much else. And most of the treatments do nothing but make you sleep. So that's why I'm being told to wait it out. I'm told it'll go away, but at this moment, while I'm trying to focus on just staying upright in this chair, all I can do is wonder how many more days I have until I can have my life back.
2 comments:
Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. Jeremy has had recurring issues with vertigo, sometimes very bad, so I know it's not easy. His doctor eventually told him he had an inner-ear balance issue. When he does these certain exercises, it seems to help. Something about repositioning the fluid in his ears. Anyway, it does help for him. Hopefully your doc can find some solution. Praying for you!
Amanda, i'm so sorry to hear that you're still dealing with this. I can't imagine what it's like to have this for days on end, and not knowing when it finally will end. Remember when you see the doctor to at least let her know that your maternal grandfather had Menier's Disease quite badly for quite awhile before it finally went away. I so hope that you're better by next weekend. If you can at least make it to the park, even if you can't go out much, I'll be glad to keep you company and do whatever needs to be done. I just want you to have a relaxing time. Preferably not in bed or holding on to a wall!
Love, Mom
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