Almost There!

It's a strange feeling knowing that we'll be standing at Epcot this time tomorrow. Actually, I guess we'll still be driving but close enough. I guess what's strange about it, though, is the fact that it doesn't feel like it's time to go yet. I just don't have that same excitement that I had on our last trip. That's bothered me for the past couple days as I was packing because I had been so excited I could hardly breathe when we first booked this trip. But I think I've finally figured out what's caused me to lose that excitement along the way.

We first started talking about this trip back in late July. Actually, I was thinking about it but not daring to wish that it could be a reality. But just to convince myself that we couldn't afford it (and without Brian's knowledge of what I was doing), I filled out an online quote form for a travel agency that specializes in Disney vacations. And when the response came back with the quote, I just jokingly mentioned it to my sweet hubby while having a lunch date at the local KFC. I remember that date. It was rainy and I had a hard time not falling on the slippery floors. The restaurant was empty but the drive-thru was full. I guess no one wanted to brave getting out in the rain. But, despite the dreary day, I jokingly told Brian what I had done and the quote I received. And he jokingly said that we should go. And then we started giggling. Maybe it was the heavenly scent of the fried chicken or maybe it was because we often feel like college-age kids once again every time we go to a fast food place for a lunch-time date. Whatever it was, that Disney magical spell started to weave it's way around us as we sat there giggling like little kids and suddenly the planning became a little more real and a little bit more of a possibility. And, before we left that date, it finally became a definite go.

So I've been excited and have started planning and dreaming and setting aside our vacation stuff as the past couple of months went by. But somewhere along the way, my little boy got sick. And then he got well, and then...well, you know the story. It's not been a fun ride. And while I try to remain optimistic about the not-so-great test results we've received and the necessity of making an appointment for a clinic whose name sounds so scary to me, the reality is that there are moments where I'm a little afraid. I'm a little afraid of what we could be told. I'm a little afraid of the unknown causes of these strange fevers and sore throats. And while I convince myself as much as possible that it's all going to be fine, the fact is that I'm still a little afraid. So I think that's stolen some of my joy and excitement.

When the latest fever popped up worse than the others a couple weeks ago, I knew that there was a strong possibility that our trip would be postponed until next summer. And while I was still glad that we'd be able to go, the possibility that the event we've all been so excited about for the past couple months was going to be cancelled just broke my heart. For the past couple weeks, we've toyed with the idea of just going ahead and postponing it and we've gone back and forth on what's best to keep our son in good health. Finally, we decided to make a game-time decision. We were going to pack like we were going but keep in mind that we may not. The final decision wouldn't be made until the day we were going to leave. And so, with that in mind, I think I've let the excitement slip away from me. I didn't want to get my hopes up just to have them dashed at the last minute. So I've protected my heart a little and focused completely on keeping my son well.

But today was the day. Game Day. The day we leave. The day to do the online check-in with the resort. The day we had to make that ultimate decision.

As we gathered those last few belongings this morning, Brian looked at me and asked that looming question, "Did Will's fever pop up in the middle of the night?" "Nope," I said. But that still wasn't good enough. We know the trickiness of our son's fevers all too well. So this morning, as I was opening up Disney's website at my desk, I called Brian. I knew Will was up and eating his breakfast by now. So I called Brian with the final question. "Did Will wake up with a fever this morning?" "Nope," said Brian. "OK, then I'm doing the online check-in," I told him. "Go ahead," he said.

So we're officially going. The bags are finally packed, the online check-in is done. All we have to do now is muddle through our workday, pick up the kids, throw the bags in the car and go. But I'm still not excited yet. I guess I'm waiting on that phone call from my in-laws to tell me that the fever is suddenly back. I'm waiting on the doctor to call me and tell me that we shouldn't go. After so many weeks of waiting and watching, I guess you can't blame me.

But the one thing I know is this: as long as I don't get a call from my in-laws or the doctor, that joy and excitement will come back again. It may show up the minute we put on seat belts and start driving south. It may show up as we get up in the morning and leave the hotel to finish the trip to the World. It may show up when we get to the Resort. Or, it might just wait until the moment I see that giant silver ball tomorrow afternoon. All I know is at some point in time, I will be excited once again. Breathtakingly excited. I may still be watchful over my son and I may use more bottles of hand sanitizer than I've ever used in my life. But regardless, I will be excited yet again.

Feeling Better

Can you tell someone is feeling better?

No?

Well, what about this picture?

There's nothing better than watching two well kids play together. Well, actually it IS better when you know both of those well kids are happy with each other. Which means no fighting - just a happy playfulness together.

Life is bliss when two well kids are giggling and playing peacefully together.

Change of Plans

After a long conversation with a substitute doctor (since we can't get to our own pediatrician for a couple more weeks), we were basically told that Will has ANOTHER virus. Seriously, if I hear that word one more time, I think I'm going to scream. She did allow me to request more blood work to be done so they did a CBC (to check white blood cells, I believe) and an immunity panel (which eliminates "leukemial issues" according to the doctor). And I'm torn over the results. I WANT to hear that all these are negative because it means it truly is just ANOTHER virus. Then again, I'm sick of the word VIRUS and I'd like to have another word for his multiple illnesses, along with a few healthy doses of some form of medication to make it all go away and to allow my baby to come back.

We're waiting on the results and then we're going to do what we just keep being told to do - wait. We're going to wait for time to allow this illness to go away. And then we're going to try one more thing. We're going to buy some time. After a long conversation and identical thoughts put into mine and Brian's minds at the same time this afternoon, we've decided to temporarily take Will out of daycare. I wish I could be a stay at home mom right now but, financially, it's not an option. So we're going to do the next best thing. We're making arrangements for him to be kept out of daycare for three weeks. I'm not going to give details yet because, honestly, they're not finalized yet. But what we do know is that he will not be taken back to daycare until the week after we get back from Disney. I need time for him to heal from this virus and then we need time for his immune system to build up a little bit. That can only happen with time. And it can only happen away from other people. So we're going to confine him to either our home or to the home of our caretaker and not allow him to go outside other than for fresh air out in the our yards. No playgrounds, no Walmart, no grocery stores. No public areas. Well, one public area. Not much can be done about the Disney trip right now. It's paid in full and, honestly, we need this break for ALL of our sakes. So we're still going on our trip. But with that one exception (where we'll go with our bags loaded with antibacterial gel and wipes), we're not allowing him to be in public. Honestly, it may not work. But if nothing else, it's going to buy us some TIME.

A Sweet and Sour Weekend

We've had a weekend full of wedding plans, country ham, and one cool dog.

With my sister's wedding only a couple months away now, it was finally time to set up the first fitting for Rachel's wedding dress. Mom and Rachel both came into town Friday night and us girls set out early Saturday morning for few hours full of wedding dreams and plans. Rachel tried on her gown and spent the next hour being fitted by the alterations person at the bridal shop. I'd show pictures but, well, I'm afraid my little sister would disown me (or worse).

We then moved on to the mall to look for a flower girl/junior bridesmaid dress for Ann Catherine. We've been debating for a while on whether or not she should officially be the flower girl or the junior bridesmaid. It seems like she's too old to be a flower girl but too young to be a junior bridesmaid. But given a few...ummm...changes to Ann Catherine in the past couple months, we decided it was probably time to finally let go of the flower girl era and finally deem her old enough to be a junior bridesmaid. So we headed over to the mall to look at dresses that would be perfect for the occasion. We finally found the perfect, sweet little dress that, again, I'd show pictures if I wasn't so frightened of my little sister! Anyway, once our shopping excursions were complete, we headed to the Factory in Franklin to have lunch at one of my favorite little girly-cafes.

Once we returned home, we grabbed the boys and my in-laws, threw on our jackets and headed for our little town's annual fall celebration - the Country Ham Festival. Now, our little festival isn't much when you compare it to the large food festivals you see on TV. I've always dreamed of visiting a large BBQ festival or a Chili festival to watch the food making, tasting and judging. My little town's festival wouldn't qualify for TV-viewing-worthiness, but it's still become a fun little tradition for our family the first weekend of every October. There are craft booths, inflatables for the kids to play on, fire trucks, ambulances and police cars to climb in and explore, and PLENTY of food booths along with live music from local bands. It's not large and I have to admit that the four of us HATE country ham, but our family always has fun exploring the festival and watching the fireworks at the end of the night (while eating our caramel apples and funnel cakes, of course). This year, we proudly wanted to show off our little festival with my family in town and loaded up my van to head to the festival. For this event, though, I felt completely free to use my camera.

Unfortunately, this morning Will woke up with a 102 fever...again. He's complaining of his throat again and occasionally his stomach hurting. My heart hurts thinking that we're headed for our third round of illness in slightly over a month but given the fact that his fever doesn't seem to want to break, it looks like I can't deny it's here again. His illness is only complicated further because his doctor is in the middle of transitioning from the large practice she was in to her own private practice and isn't reachable for the next two weeks. So we're left working with his "back-up" doctor at the larger practice. Since I'm pretty sure I'll be off to get him tested for strep again tomorrow (his sixth strep test since Aug. 31) and I'm a little tired of having to explain the whole history of the past month, I decided to sit down and write everything that has happened throughout the past month. It broke my heart to know that there has been so many tests run and yet it looks like my little calendaring isn't going to end anytime soon. So please, please pray for our sweet little boy and for the doctor to finally be able to isolate whether or not this truly is a third round of viruses or if perhaps we're looking at a larger, more complicated illness. All I know is that I'm tired of hearing the word "virus" thrown at me with no further answers other than to simply "give it time to run its course." I'm ready for answers, medicines, and a resolution. Mainly, I want to see my baby happy and playful once again.

Breathing a Sigh of Relief

We're finally back to our normal routine. After a very stressful Friday last week spent mostly in the doctor's office getting Will's blood drawn and running lots of tests, plus the added bonus of getting to head to the local imaging clinic to get a chest x-ray done, we spent last weekend exhausted and scared to death. Will was just so tired and hadn't eaten in a week and Brian and I both were so emotionally and physically exhausted that we both ended up crying ourselves to sleep on Saturday. And then the first miracle happened - Mina showed up! She came to save the day! My very sweet mom made the six hour trip to watch our son so that Brian and I both could spend the week working. Having a sick child is hard on all families but when both parents are working and having to take so many days off to care for the sick little one, you're doubly stressed out. You know your first priority is to care for your child but you also are very aware of the fact that your job is still waiting out there and coworkers are having to take up the slack. It may not matter so much in a larger company but since we both work for a small business, it becomes a very big deal. So Mina came riding in on her white horse (or, I guess, little blue car) and saved the day!

The funny thing is that, Monday morning, Will woke up with a smile and ready to play. He still didn't eat much but at least he had more energy (even refusing to take a nap for Mina - he spent the time either crying because he didn't want to sleep or giggling at Mina because she was fake-sleeping and hoping he'd wear out and fall asleep!). And later that afternoon, we got a call from the doctor's office saying that the test results came back negative - it wasn't mono after all and he really did just have four illnesses on top of each other in a three week span.

Tuesday morning, Will woke up with a smile and wanting to eat. We decided that we'd play it safe one more day and let Mina play with him on Tuesday as well before allowing him to return to daycare on Wednesday. He ran his Mina ragged as he ran around the playground at Mickey D's and around the house before giving her hugs as she returned home that afternoon. His Pappy took over that afternoon (giving Mom a chance to beat rush hour on her drive home) and he spent the rest of the day riding his little John Deere tractor around Pappy's yard and helping Pappy "mow" his yard on his big riding lawn mower.

Wednesday he returned to daycare and spent the rest of the week there playing, running off his newfound energy and enjoying his returning appetite.

To say that we're relieved is an understatement. We spent the week with smiles and enjoying our chance to catch up on the sleep we hadn't had in three weeks. And now I sit here and type as my son is walking around the house wearing our computer bag (which is holding his blankey and "cell phone") and announcing that he's going to school as he's waving goodbye. And my smile matches his own as I enjoy watching my baby play once again.

Round Two

Well, we're in the battle for round two. Will is sick again after only six days of being well from the last illness. We had a great week last week, although Will fought us going back to daycare. But after the first day, we were back to our routine and looking forward to our trip up north to help the family celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. We had an uneventful trip up north and were even thrilled at the lack of traffic on our way. We made it safely up to Grandma and Grandpa's house, albeit a little late from the extra potty-breaks we had to make (ahhh...the joys of travelling with young bladders...I mean, children). And it was so much fun to walk into a room full of family and to become quickly engulfed in hugs and warm hello's. There is simply nothing better than being surrounded by the love of your family.

We spent the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house and had a wonderful evening full of laughter (especially when Will decided to turn Grandpa's trumpet stand into a gun) and caramel popcorn. And all seemed well until Brian woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that Will had thrown up. Round two begins.

He was very sick on the way home, moaning, crying and whining, running a high fever and refusing to eat. It ended up being the longest trip of our lives because of the number of times we'd have to stop to find the nearest restroom. Monday morning, after a very long night of getting up and heading to the restroom, I finally got him in to the doctor. She said that it wasn't the flu (although I still asked them to run the test anyway just to confirm that) and said that it was more than likely just a very bad stomach virus since he wasn't complaining of any sinus related issues - just tummy-related issues with the high fever.

But this morning, he woke up and we started to see a little glimpse of his personality coming out once again. The fever seems to have broken and he actually asked for a poptart this morning. So please say lots of prayers that this was a very quick stomach virus! It was so hard to sit in that bathroom and watch the expressions of pain and sickness wash over my son's face. More than once, I risked the contagiousness and grabbed his sweet little face and just kissed him and loved on him because my heart was breaking for him. But maybe we will be rewarded later today or even tomorrow with a smile once again from our sweet little boy.

And to update you on Brian's post late last week, Morgan is doing much better. Thank you so much for your prayers! There was some fear that her stepbrother was sick as well but tests confirmed that he did not have it. As of Sunday night, she was still dealing with a lot of sinus problems but was actually feeling better and giggling with Brian over the fact that she had had the "piggy flu." What an answer to prayer to hear her giggle and know that she'd be fine.

Prayer

Please pray for my niece Morgan, she has the swine flu. My sister called my parents today to let them know. Morgan is at home. Everyone in the family has to wear face masks whenever they are anywhere near her. Chris, my sister's step-son, has started showing signs of the flu as well. He is going to the doctor tomorrow. Please pray that none of the others in the family get it.

Brian