Pass the Turpentine, Please

I wanted to enjoy this. In fact, I really wanted to LOVE this. I wanted to find my hidden talent. Unfortunately, it's still apparently lying hidden and dormant within me so I'll have to keep searching it out.

For the first time in my life, I actually attempted to paint a room. Yes, I'm 30ish years old and have never managed to paint a room in my life. The only thing I've ever painted are little wooden Christmas ornaments and little plastic figurines. And I wasn't too successful there. But the Blanchards are talented. They are extraordinary and incredibly talented at a wide variety of the arts. They are pros at music. They are pros at painting.

I think I'm a Noonan.

Since my little attempts at painting on a small scale were a big flop, I figured maybe I could at least master a large blank wall. I started out with my big roller and worked away. As I started working away, I started imaging me painting the whole house in a very expert manner. I dreamed up the blog posts bragging about my new love. And above all, in my head, I was mocking Brian. All I could think of was his one attempt to paint his own room in our house - our bathroom. He got little paint spots all over our tub. He got little paint spots all over the floor. He got larger paint spots on the ceiling. I groaned when I saw it for the first time. So when I knew the time had finally come for us to paint another room (the kids' bathroom this time), I quickly volunteered for the job. I just KNEW I would do a much better job at it and you wouldn't find a single spot on any bathroom surface other than the walls.

Ahem. [Sigh.] I'm sorry, Brian.

Tonight was just the primer. Right away, I gave up on avoiding the back of the toilet. (Hey - who looks back there anyway?) Next, I gave up on keeping it off the ceiling. (It's white primer on a white ceiling - who'll notice?) When Brian very sweetly pointed out the big splotch of primer sitting on the bathroom floor, I sighed and all my dreams disappeared. I'm starting to have my doubts about my beautiful Rise-N-Shine yellow paint.

And now I want turpentine. Whoever said this stuff comes off with water and soap is a lunatic. It came off the brush. It came off the roller and my pan. Skin, however, is another matter apparently.